On my way into a grocery store, I observed a mother and her early teen child walking together. The teen, head down and eyes glued to her phone, bumped into another woman without offering any apology or acknowledgment. The mother had no reproach either. The woman was left stunned and speechless. I gently told the young child that she might want to pay attention to where she’s going to avoid accidents. Without even looking up from her phone, she responded, “You do you and I’ll do me.” Her words reflected a disturbing shift in our values—highlighting that we have largely lost the virtues of respect and consideration for others. Instead, our behavior is increasingly driven by superficial aesthetics of arrogance ( mistaken for confidence ) and a sense of self-centered autonomy,  rather than ethical principles of right and wrong.

We need to reshape our culture by being willing to sacrifice some individual autonomy for the greater good of our community. Without integrating moral education alongside fields that are more aggressively sought after in today’s world such as technical and career training, we risk losing the shared values and principles that underpin a well-functioning society. If we continue to fail to do so the distinction between a person of good character and one without moral grounding will disappear.

Regrettably, I don’t see this change happening anytime soon unless parents and leaders actively foster a civic code of decency. As society drifts away from civility, we face increasingly difficult times ahead. Research shows that incivility fosters violence, weakens communities, and leads to societal paralysis caused by conflict and political division.  We need not look too far to see this happening.

Have we regressed to a time reminiscent of the Enlightenment—disenchanted with the value of reason and religion? In other words, are people now free to create their own values? This shift effectively replaces community and the common good with individual autonomy. While capitalism continues to flourish, the emphasis on personal self-determination often overshadows shared moral principles, diluting our collective understanding of right and wrong. With Friedrich Nietzsche’s declaration that “God is dead,” signaling the decline of religious influence on morality, society experienced a significant cultural and intellectual transformation. Decades later, autonomous figures like Lenin, Mao, and Hitler emerged, promising to create a “better,” “purer,” or “pioneering” world—though often at great human cost.

But how do individuals decide what is right if they are no longer anchored in a stable moral order? Without a moral framework, and in the absence of shared standards, manipulation and coercion become the tools to influence behavior of the masses. Advertisers, demagogues, and influencers exploit this vulnerability, especially in a fragmented society where the sense of the common good is weak. Consequently, people often end up wanting what these manipulators promote, simply to fulfill their own desires.

I firmly believe that the strength and integrity of a nation depend on a solid foundation rooted in our homes. Civility, after all, embodies a long-standing tradition of moral virtues essential to democracy—such as empathy, humility, integrity, honesty, and respect for others. These virtues are the moral glue that holds society together. Without civility—rooted in virtues — our communities risk devolving into hostile, accusatory, and offensive exchanges, as we see in these tumultuous times in our own backyards and The District.

Civility is a powerful force capable of uniting people and fostering international brotherhood despite differences in beliefs. While current leadership to whom we should all be looking up neglects and devalues the language of morality and threatens societal stability, we can choose to rise above our impulses and act differently. We can work to restore the civility we were once taught—starting with a simple yet profound step— looking in the mirror, recognizing right from wrong and standing with dignity without pointing fingers. We can restore the civility that once strengthened our communities. We can restore the language of virtues and live up to standards of excellence. In the language of that teen child,  We’ll do Us.