The news is affecting me far more than it used to. My mind is tired, and my heart feels exhausted, expired. It has been so for a year. It started December 12, 2022, when Azerbaijan launched a 10 month blockade of the Republic of Artsakh by sending citizens and an army to block the Lachin corridor, a humanitarian corridor which connects Artsakh to Armenia and the outside world. 120,000 defenseless indigenous Armenians of Artsakh were “imprisoned,” starved and deprived of all humanitarian needs while the world lost sight of its humane commitment to safeguard the defenseless who had not taken up arms. In the end, the Lachin corridor known locally as the “road to life” became the road to loss of life, home, land and history of Armenians in Nagorno Karabagh through their forced displacement and exodus.

My first “glimpse of war,” was through the memories of grandparents who spoke of slaughtered children, sisters and brothers, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, fetuses ripped from mothers’ wombs during the Armenian Genocide of 1915. Their memories of a systematic effort to eliminate every trace of a people whose right to live were but a whisper in my ear now grown louder over the years. Armenia faces a serious conundrum when it has neighbors led by tyrants who applaud terror. And when tyrants are allowed power there is no rule of law, there is no governing order. There is only the inordinate desire to reach their goal by all means possible. Azerbaijan fueled by Turkey is determined to eliminate every trace of Armenian culture and heredity from the face of the Caucasus. And what opened a further breach in my heart, flooding it with uncontrollable emotions was the knowledge that Israel had provided Azerbaijan with 70% of its weapons used against the Armenians of Nagorno Karabakh. https://apnews.com/article/armenia-azerbaijan-nagorno-karabakh-weapons-israel-6814437bcd744acc1c4df0409a74406c

It is impossible to shield myself from the world’s pain.  As I take in the news of what is really happening around the world, my heart is inconsolable. I find myself stumbling in a dualistic world of good and evil, of unconditional caring and uncommon cruelty. It is an inexplicable world of tyranny and autonomy, of bullets and butterflies. We are in a deepening chasm.

It will take every bit of heart, every bit of compassion, and our highest selves to navigate through this troubled world. And we must find a way. The U.S I know and believe in values human life and the rule of law.  It must therefore insist on upholding the rules and norms of behavior in all regions of conflict and not lose sight of its commitment to humanity. I understand America’s government has a friendship with Turkey, Azerbaijan and of course Israel, but friendship requires speaking hard truths about a commitment to democracy, to human rights and the rule of law.

I know there is good in this world. Most people are good. I see them around me. At the supermarket, they let others move to the front of the line, drop their dollars in the Red Kettle, feed the hungry and homeless, return shopping carts even when in a rush to get home, and share a seat at their table with a stranger. They visit the elderly, read bedtime stories to children, listen to extensive phone conversations after a long and draining day, smile, lend a helping hand, rescue pets, water a neighbor’s yard, comfort, heal, volunteer, pray for people they don’t know, and the list to do good every day is endless. Most people are good.

Yet, we have allowed 120,000 Armenians to practically die of starvation, malnutrition and medical assistance, losing lives and homeland with prisoners still in captivity at the hands of Azeris; and yet, we are enabling the leveling and destroying of Gaza where 1.9 million innocent indigenous Palestinians lived with  70% of the nearly 18,000 killed were women and children. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/longform/2023/10/9/israel-hamas-war-in-maps-and-charts-live-tracker.    None of this solves the problems at hand. All it does is show that we care about some humans and not others. And it serves no purpose except to tolerate genocides and intensify hatred that has been built up through an endless degradation of Gaza resulting from Israel’s periodic bombings (which are not spoken of) and from its economic blockade.

I cannot shield myself from the world’s pain but I must cling to a belief that there are good people in this world. I am fully convinced that good people ultimately thrive and unethical people will ultimately be defeated. It just takes every bit of heart, every bit of compassion, and our highest selves.

Meanwhile I will ache and mourn for all loss of lives. I will weep, for it strengthens my hope. I will allow my heart to be broken, for it wells with conviction and compassion, and that is life to our suffering world.